Finish Well

So here we are....coming to the end of this year long journey...all I can say is bittersweet....


As much as I want to go home and see my friends, family, and my DOGS I can't deny the fact that I will miss my new family here in Thailand. This might be my final post in Thailand and that is really hard to say at the moment.

This is the final week of teaching me and the interns who are staying here. Every step as been a learning experience and I am so grateful for all of it. I honestly can say that I don't regret a single thing I did here. But if you were to ask me if I did everything that God wanted me to do, I will have to get back to you on that. All I can say is that I didn't do a single thing that I wanted to do while in Thailand. What I mean by that is that all the things I wanted to learn to do here in Thailand I didn't learn, such as being able to read Thai, or be able to make Thai desserts, or even drive on the crazy roads here. However, spiritually I have grown and learned so much from almost a year ago.

These last few weeks have just been packed with events and outings. However, I'll just mention the most recent one since it is fresh in my mind. This past Sunday we had an opportunity to work with another church and a medical team to provide for the local Wat Fang community. We had a chance to evangelize and just shine God's love to those in need of it including some monks. This event reminded me of what my original plan for life was and how it has changed in the recent years.

Since I was a little girl I have always wanted to be a doctor and do medical missions and just be able to help people. And to me this was the way that I thought would make the most impact on someone's life so I made this my goal. Up until recent years where I took a biology class in college and failed miserably. It was safe to say that medical school was definitely not in my future haha...And then I somehow ended up falling in love with philosophy and never turned back to my original plan.

Through the entire process of finding what GOD'S plan was I learned that medical missions was not the only way to make an impact on someone's life. And I think that this team did a great job at letting God's love shine through it's workers. There are so many ways to make an impact and throughout this journey for me it really has been just being able to love others like God loved us. We love because He first loved us and sometimes that includes tough love. Being able to tell someone that they are doing something wrong is so hard to do and what's harder is to continue to love them after they have yelled at you, after they have ignored you, and even after they have lost all respect for you. And I think that this is just one of the many ways to continue making an impact on someone's life, to not give up on them even when they have hurt you. Jesus didn't give up on us as we were persecuting him, so it is our duty as children of Christ to not give up on our fellow brothers and sisters.

And I wrap up the last few weeks I have here in Thailand I will not give up on my mission here. whatever that may consist of, but I will always continue to love the thai people. They have really became another family to me and I am just completely and utterly amazed at what God is doing here. Please continue to pray for me as I start packing up life here in Thailand and please continue to pray for the body of Christ here in Thailand as there is still much work to be done. Pray that they continue to grow spiritually, that one day Thailand can be used as a country that serves God.

Thank you for all the support that I have gotten throughout this trip, I am grateful for everything that has been given to me throughout all of it. :)

Open the eyes

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciple of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:18-20

I apologize for my absence the last few months. There hasn't been much change in the daily routines of life here in Thailand. I am still teaching at the local school every wednesdays with a few other interns and still teaching english every week regularly. But what has changed is my time here.

I never thought it would be so hard for me to leave a country in which I have became very fond of, but as time is dwindling down reality is coming to pass. During this time I have been asking myself constantly, "What's the point?" What impact can I make within these short 2 months? It was safe to say that I was falling short of the glory of God and also forgetting that God is the Creator and above all things. At this point I practically was thinking I might as well go home now, there wouldn't be a difference. I was continually asking God "What am I doing here? Did I even do anything of worth here? What was it all for?" and continually feeling like God was not hearing my words, maybe He was busy with other people who have bigger problems than me.

Isaiah 59:1 says "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot here; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not here."

My problem wasn't God nor hearing me, it was me. I didn't realize that God answers all of His children's prayers, some through signs, some through scripture and some through silence. It was in this silence that I came to see what God was doing with me. I had a chance to travel yet again due to my visa expiring and having to leave the country to renew it. So I decided to go somewhere that I have always wanted to go. None other than the land down under, Australia. I had a friend that lived in Melbourne, since I didn't have to pay for any housing I decided to go for it, YOLO right? haha

First off, Melbourne is a beautiful place that just shines through the quietness of the fairly mild city life. Nothing like the hectic pollution filled Bangkok. (Don't get me wrong, I love the city it's just always so busy) God gave me a break and just in time. In that break I got a chance to breathe, a chance to hear my own thoughts and God's silence. God has shown me so much in my little break and then He continued as I headed over to Singapore for a Intentional Discipleship Conference with members of the thai church. This conference was like many others that I have been to in terms of programs and activities, but the content was something that has been fairly new to me since coming to Thailand. I learned how important one life is to another and how influential one life can be on an entirely new level.

If I could share how much I learned from this trip you could be reading for days on end so I won't do that you. However, moments like this is why I love to travel. I can see with my own two human eyes the majestic creations of The Almighty Creator. It really opens my eyes to what God has done not only in my home, but the home of all my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Post Retreat High

Oh how busy the last several weeks have been. We have ended out first summer course, hosted a group from America, and had a church retreat. Now its time to finally get a little bit of breather before starting a new English course TODAY! Haha…

Even though it has been a busy month, I have still seen the blessings that God has shown not only to me but also to the entire church. Most people get busy and just shut down, but for me God is clearer in the midst of all the chaos. I have to admit though that even though I wasn’t apart of the planning committee of this retreat, I saw all the effort that goes into planning a retreat. And most importantly I saw myself in some of the members of the committee, particularly in one person of the committee and it’s kind of interesting to see yourself in someone else. I saw all the chaos that comes with being a leader and all the good and bad comments that comes with being a leader. But not being that leader I started to understand where all the bad comments came from cause I myself started thinking some of those comments as well. And no longer being in that position I also know all the things that go on behind the scenes that would make a leader choose one option over the other. But what this leader had here in Thailand that I haven't seen in the States, was support from the people around them that were willing to give advice and people who understood the position that this leader was in. God through all of this showed me the willingness of the people here in Thailand, their willingness to serve Him, their willingness to help, their willingness and openness to understand. And it really made think about the ministries I have been involved in in the States. 

I don’t really remember the last time I was that willing to serve others or had the openness to understand others’ opinions. I know that I helped because someone told me to help or I served out of frustration because no one else would do it. And now thinking about it I can count on one hand the number of people of who have given me the same kind of willingness and openness the Thai people have. It is unfortunate that I can only think of a handful of people who have given me that kind of support. Part of it could be because there are only a few people who are willing to support and partly because I haven't opened my eyes to see the support around me. The willingness to serve and openness to understand is really something that all believers should be doing. But it doesn’t happen because we sometimes forget the reason we serve and whom we are serving. Instead we get so caught up in the ministry and all the logistics/administrative stuff and forget the purpose of our ministry. I myself am guilty of do this many times in my times of service to the Lord. The bible tells us that we are one body in Christ and Christ is the head. If all the limbs and organs of this body functioned under one brain, how much more functional would that body be? What if believers throughout the world had this mindset? What if everyone were united in one vision, in one God, for one purpose? I believe that the planning committee of this retreat had one vision for this retreat and they were united together under the same God for one purpose. I saw on a small scale of what unity within the church of Christ was like and I can only hope for that same unity to happen throughout the world. I as one person cannot make unity amongst a nation happen, but we as a family in Christ can make that unity happen, and it all starts with faith and heart that has a willingness to serve and support and openness to understand the functions of the rest of the body. Imagine a world united in Christ and one nation and as one family. How awesome would that be? So lets start with our own churches first. If we can get each individual church to be unified in the same vision, we can start seeing that vision come to life throughout the rest of the world. 

A Spiritual Victory

Humility, a word I am able to define on paper but unable to fully understand. It is a word that I have struggled with for most of my life and still struggle with even today. It has been a constant battle for me to find a way to be humble yet still hold strong to my own beliefs and not be the walking mat for the world to step on. So I usually overcompensate and become prideful in my own beliefs. Boasting so much in my own mind that I forgot about the other half of the fight. But I was wrong in thinking that my life is a constant battle between humility and pride, constantly thinking that I need to have an even balance of both in my faith. But in truth the battle is not to have a balance of humility and pride but to let humility defeat the pride within us.

During this break God has really allowed many things into my life that has taught me so much about humility and how to truly be humble in everything that I do. Don't get me wrong it's still an uphill battle, but God is on my side whom shall I fear? And honestly, there are not many physical things that I am afraid of (I'm not completely fearless, but it does take a lot to find my fears). Yet again that was my pride showing me that even though I wasn't afraid of it I shouldn't underestimate it. But I did just that, I underestimated what I could not see and allowed it to consume me without even being aware that it was within me. Spiritual warfare is something I knew exists but I never thought anything of it because I thought my faith was strong enough to handle it. I thought that God would never let anything like that happen to me. Sometimes I even thought that being American made me immune to it all haha...yes my mind definitely went that far. But what I failed to remember is that I'm human, not God. My pride was the way in for any spirit to overtake my mind. I thought that I was somehow better and stronger in my faith than everyone else here because I came to help them. That these people needed my help. I held myself on a shrine that didn't exist and talked a talked that was to much for my own mouth to handle.

It wasn't until God sent one of the youth girls to break me into a million pieces. He brought me back to the beginning and reminded me of why I started serving Him in the first place. He used my passion for youth kids and particularly youth girls to break me down and mold me to be more in His likeness. He showed me that a life in service isn't about how much you know or how much you can do, but how much you are willing to learn and how much you let God do. Moreover, leadership isn't measured in accomplishments, but leadership is living a life of humility. Being humble and letting God overtake our lives, freeing us from the ways of the world and guiding us away from the evil within us.

The more God allows the world to get in your way the more He is ready to use you in battle against the evil within the world we live in. The more you overcome the more you are ready to stand in the center of the world and not conform to it and the closer you are to the Almighty.

Half Way There!!!

Thought I would something a little different than my regular blog posts. Enjoy! :)

Click here for an update! :)

Visa Run

I am in Singapore!! I know that some of you may be thinking what in the world am I doing in Singapore if I am serving in Thailand haha…Well every 90 days or so I need to leave the country to renew my visa. I am not allowed to renew my visa within the country and even if I were, now would not be the best time to do so with all hassle caused by the protest. So I chose Singapore to do my visa run. I have about a week off to do my visa and then I head back to Nonthaburi, Thailand.

I want to first apologize for not updating as much as I would like to the last couple of months. I have been fairly busy with the everyday church activities going on here.

I just ended my teaching at Wat Fang, a local school that many of our compassion kids attend. I was teaching there every Monday and Wednesday. The kids are now in the testing season and will go on break until the beginning of May. Every Wednesday was just regular conversational English teaching for the 4^th – 6^th grade. Things like “What is your name?”, “Nice to meet you”, “What do you like to do?” etc. Mondays on the other hand was a day that I got to teach them Bible stories, but the challenge was doing it in English, keep in mind these kids don’t speak a single word of English. Thankfully though I was able to translate most of what I said into Thai so the kids understood most of what I was saying and on days that I really want to challenge the kids, hand motions became my best friend. I was able to teach them some imported games from America that they have never played before like Simon Says (instead I renamed it God Says J) and Ninja (if you don’t know this game you can ask one of the youth kids at my church). The kids really enjoyed this time, but the best part of this time was that I didn’t only spend it with the older kids I got to do this every Monday with the grades 1-6 which is practically the entire school if you don’t include preschool. So it’s amazing that the school has allowed us to go into the school and evangelize with most of the kids in the school. God has really blessed the time I get to spend with these kids. They are truly a group of kids that have so much love and interests but don’t know how to show it. If you read from my last entry you will be able to know a little bit more about where these kids are from and why it is so important for us to minister to these kids.

Below is a photo of the last day I got to spend with these kids. They are split up from grades 1-3 and 4-6, respectively.

So every Tuesday and Thursday when I am not teaching at Wat Fang I am teaching at the church during the evening to a class mostly of university students who want to learn conversational English. There are a few older folks in the class who like to learn English that attend as well. The great thing about this class is that most the students are non-believers and it serves the purpose of what this English school was designed to do, which is minister to non-believers through teaching them English. Some of them have shown an interest in Christ, but are still pretty far from accepting change into their lives. But we have befriended them and are building relationships with them, which is a start to sharing the good news. 

On Fridays we have something called Bible Club, which was started only a several weeks ago by one the missionary pastors from Word of Life. It is still in its early stages, but we want it to continue into a time where the youth of this church can gather and really enjoy bible study with one another and get a deeper understanding of what the Bible is really saying to us.

Saturdays is another day I get to work with kids, but this time middle school and high school ages, all still from the compassion organization. Every Saturday kids come to church for VBS, but before that time volunteers of the church teach the kids different school subjects to help them with their studies. I of course teach English to the older girls, but not just any regular conversational English, NO! I teach them grammar. To me, this is beyond crazy!! ME?! Teaching grammar to anyone! Considering how much I despise grammar and how bad I am at it most of the time, but God does have a sense of humor and uses our weaknesses to do work for Him. So somehow these girls understand most of what I’ m teaching them. Lets just all pray that I am teaching them correct grammar hehe… I have had to brush up on a lot of my simple grammar since teaching on Saturdays so please don’t go through this entry looking for grammar mistakes cause I am certain that there are plenty haha…

This has been my basic routine for the past 2 months with the occasional specials events every now and then. However, Sundays is a little different and something new since the last update. This church does small groups after service and lunch. There are a total of 5 groups: Fresh Jiew (Elementary kids), Fresh (upper middle school & high school), 3G (University), Work (self explanatory), and Pra Pawn (Family). I am in the Fresh group as a leader, which is also something I was not expecting from God. I really didn’t think I could lead another youth group considering how close I was to my group at home and how much I didn’t want to fell like I was moving on from my group at RCAC. But God has taught me something while debating about the decision to serve in this role.

He has taught me that just because I was willing to move all the way across the world doesn’t mean that I moved on from my life as a youth leader and away from the RCAC group. Something in me will always have a passion for the youth and that really started because of how the youth of RCAC made me feel. No matter how bad the days were or how tired I was I always looked forward to spending my time with the youth because there is never a dull moment with these kids. They made me look at the world differently, no matter how stupid you look making all those ugly faces or how NOT funny your joke was it didn’t matter because we all did it together or we made those around us smile while doing it. But what they really taught me was how to love. I can say that these kids have taught me to love them for who they are, to accept them because we are all a work in progress and we all need a little TLC all of the time. They have somehow got me to do things for them that I would not do for anyone else. I realized that this move wasn’t just for my growth it was also for theirs. So they can share the love that they have given me with others who need some silliness in their life and share a smile with a few people around them. And I need to teach what my group has taught me to the kids here who have no idea what’s it’s like to have a family who really cares to take the time to give you the love you don’t deserve, but need to have.

Though I realize that I may not be able to successfully transfer this thought process to the kids in Thailand during my stay here, but I can help instill this idea into those who are willing to invest their time into a generation that is dying in social media. 

With that said I ask to pray for this monumental task, that God can use the people here to give love to those around them to spread the joy that comes from the One and Only. To let the next generation know that the love you see in movies is just that, a movie, and that true love comes from above, but only if we are willing to seek out that love and share it with others once we have received it. Please pray that God can use me to show the love that He has given me and share that love with the youth kids here. Please pray for the upcoming retreat the youth are going and this can be a time that God can lay a foundation in them.

Love is hidden in many places, but it takes the glory of God to see it eve

Just a night in the Singaporean Bay while the business district is still awake

The Marina Bay Casino Hotel and Resort  

It's getting real

Well it has been awhile since I have posted something here. It's been kinda crazy here in Thailand with all the holiday festivities and all the lovely political protests. For those who have asked, I'm ok. I haven't really been affected by the mob. There have been a few marches around the church and where I live, but most have been peaceful and so far no major events of violence. If you would like a better explanation of what is going with the protests, here is an article that better explains it. http://edition.cnn.com/2014/01/11/world/asia/thailand-protest-explainer/index.html?c=asia 

So to kick off the holiday season here in Thailand I started by going to Laos to visit family there with my parents who came to visit. I know my parents have been worried about me staying here but I think that after this visit they are a little less worried about me and they are putting more trust in God to do the rest. As for me adapting to my new home for the next year has been fairly easy. I think that knowing the language has helped me adapt much faster than I thought I would and it also makes going from here and there a lot easier as well. However, I have been realizing the need to learn to read Thai. I will be learning to read and write from one the girls here at the church and in exchange I will teach her more english. :)

I also realized how much Christmas is not like Christmas without the weather and decorations. In my mind Christmas is cold and/or rainy where decorations fill the city and everyone is in the festive mood all around. So 'tis was a Christmas like no other. It was actually quite warm and there was no Christmas service where the choir sings and everyone exchanges presents. We had a big festival where about 400 people form the community came and received free food, games, entertainment, and it was an opportunity for our church to evangelize. BUT one thing seems to never change, I somehow ended up in the Christmas skit! I was really looking forward to just being able to watch the skit, but God had other plans haha...nevertheless I still enjoy being able to be apart of something great. This is a picture from the festival, it's blurry but you can get the idea of how many people were there.

New year's was also another first. Every year for new years my family either spends it with the church or just ourselves at home and countdown. This year I still went to church, but instead of counting down waiting for the clock to strike midnight we prayed through the countdown. We spent time to pray for not only the church in the new year, but also for all the different small groups and new events coming in this new year. I really enjoyed doing this. It was a chance to think about which direction we wanted the church to go towards and also what are we as the congregation going to do knowing this. I really appreciate that this church decided to do more than just throw a new year's party, but instead encouraged and created an environment where the church can spend time together as a family with God. 

So now that all the festivities have calmed down the real work begins. English classes for the Phileo Language School starts tonight! I won't be teaching right away instead I will shadowing one of the other teachers. This is only the second term in session since the reopening of the language school late last year. We now have enough students for two classes and the students are mostly people who are not from the church, which means that this allows for us to share the gospel with these students as well as teach them a life skill. 

I may have mentioned in one of my earlier posts that this church also works with Compassion International which is an Non-profit that works with children whose families make less than 300 baht a day (That would be less than $10 US). Most children from this NGO come from broken families and are lead down a path that is dark and filled with hate, revenge, greed or some other sort of evil. Every Saturday P'Gop, who is a person that works for the church, drives the church van to pick up all the kids in our area to come to church and we teach them English and also a bible lesson. The bible lesson is like VBS to the kids. Since I am here to teach English and also have a passion for the youth I was offered to teach the high school English class which is mostly filled with young girls who are believers or borderline believers. Their foundation isn't very strong, but they come to learn English and not so much the bible study since it is very much geared toward the younger generation which they have clearly outgrown. So I have been challenged with the task to help the youth in this class to come to church for the purpose of knowing God and not just for English. We will be starting a new program just for these older kids and we hope to make it like a retreat environment where they feel more their age and hopefully more willing to open up to God. 

So I ask you to pray that the team working with these older kids may be able to change the hearts of these kids, that we won't only teach them English but also be able to mentor them in way that glorifies and leads them to the Lord. I also ask you to pray for the whole Compassion program not only here within this church but also throughout all of the world. Seeing first hand what this organization is doing for the lives of these young children really gave me a new perspective of what it means to give. And lastly please pray for the country of Thailand. The protesters have really been bad news for Thais because it causes high amounts of traffic and also stops business for a lot of people due to the lack of customers. It brings down the economy and also causes unnecessary tensions between those who are on opposing parties. Pray for peace within the country.